The Other Side
by ReavansMask
Summary: Sometimes, it's not easy dating the woman who has to save the galaxy from the Reapers. A series of short pieces written from Liara's POV set over the course of the Mass Effect trilogy. Rated for violence and smut.
1. An Unusual Inquiry

**Welcome to The Other Side. Rather than a stand-alone story, this is a supplement to the regular Mass Effect narrative, filling in moments that we didn't get to see and expanding on some that we did, all from the point of view of Liara. It is also a prequel to Ashara Shepard: The Fourth Life, although neither is needed to understand the other. Finally, it attempts to answer some questions that the games leave open, such as... Well, read this chapter and see. I hope you enjoy it.**

**PS: For those who have already read some of this story, the chapters have been re-ordered chronologically, which is why this one is now first.**

* * *

Despite her lack of romantic experience, Liara still knew that it was an unusual question to have to ask. Her first thought had been to go to Doctor Chakwas; after all, the commander's medical records must contain the information she was looking for. However, after being firmly informed that "It is not my prerogative to disclose personal information about my patients," she needed to consider alternatives.

She thought next about Kaiden since he had been on the _Normandy_ before any of the rest of the team. Tali, though, had let it slip one night that Kaiden was sexually interested in Shepard and that she had rejected him, so Liara felt odd about asking him. The quarian didn't know herself, and if she didn't, Garrus and Wrex probably didn't either. Ashley seemed somewhat stand-offish, and she didn't trust that any answer that Joker gave would be serious, which exhausted the members of the crew she knew well enough to talk to.

She could have tried searching the extranet, but she didn't have her own terminal on the ship, and she didn't want Shepard to think that she was spying on her. (Years later, as the Shadow Broker, she would find recalling that concern quite humorous) Out of other alternatives, she resolved that she would simply ask the Specter. Their relationship might have been just beginning, but surely, this was not too personal an inquiry.

Her next opportunity came shortly after their mission to Tuntau, when the commander visited her small room behind the med-bay.

"Liara. Just thought I'd stop by for a couple of minutes before my shift starts." There was light in Shepard's green eyes as she walked in, and the asari smiled up at her. These talks had become the highlight of her days, and even if she was a little nervous about this one, she still felt the slight giddiness the commander's presence usually brought on.

"It is good to see you. You seem in a pleasant mood."

"Well, we had a good day yesterday. Wrex got his armor back, the pirates got shut down, and I didn't even flip the Mako over."

"I am glad to hear it. There is something that I wanted to ask you while you are here. Since we are beginning to, I mean to say, we agreed that we both felt, that we are…"

"Dating?" Silently, she thanked Shepard for saving her from herself. Liara got so flustered around her sometimes, but the Specter never made her feel more uncomfortable about it than she already was.

"I believe that is the human expression. And since we are dating, I think that perhaps I should know your first name. After all, it is not as if you call me Doctor T'Soni."

Shepard laughed, but there was no mockery in it, only amusement and affection. "God. You're right. It didn't even occur to me. It's Ashara. Ashara Shepard."

Ashara. It rolls easily off the tongue, actually sounding somewhat like asari she thought. Ashara and an asari. She liked that. "It is a very pretty name. Why do you never use it?"

The commander's smile became wistful. "You've probably heard about this already, but when I was 16, the little colony I grew up on was attacked. Batarian slavers came, and…" Shepard paused, the lingering pain of the wound showing through despite her best efforts to mask it. "Anyway, when the Alliance rescue team found me, everyone who'd ever known me as 'Ashara' was dead or gone. I think I just started going by 'Shepard' for a fresh start."

Liara had indeed been aware of the rumors, but hearing them confirmed by the woman she'd come to care about was something entirely different. Tentatively, she reached out a hand to comfort her, letting it rest on the commander's strong shoulder. "I apologize, Shepard. I didn't mean to bring up such an unpleasant memory."

Shepard's smile brightened again, her hand rubbing Liara's arm. "Don't worry about it. You didn't know." The commander got up, and as their touch broke, Liara was surprised by how much she regretted the loss of that little contact. "I'm sorry, but I've gotta go. My shift is starting."

"Of course. I am glad that you came." She forced herself to smile back, but inside, she was worried that her question had driven Shepard away.

And then, just before the commander exited the room, she turned around. "Liara, I think I'd like it if you called me Ashara sometimes."


	2. The Sensible Thing

"Please consider my proposal, but do not take too long, as this matter is time-sensitive. I await your reply," –Miranda Lawson

Liara had been starring at the message for the better part of an hour. The rational part of her brain told her to delete it. Ashara Shepard was dead. Liara had watched with horror from the escape pod, tears filling her eyes and a helpless scream on her lips as her lover fell into the Alcheran atmosphere. She'd seen the notification from the Alliance declaring Commander Shepard killed in action. She had even been to a memorial service, though there was nothing to bury.

No, Ashara was gone and even if, somehow, there was a way she could be brought back, this was Cerberus that Liara was considering helping. She had been on the missions that destroyed their instillations, walked through their ruined labs, seen the horrifying experiments they had run. They were terrorists, and they were psychopaths, and even if they could do what they promised, could she really turn Ashara over to them? Surely, the sensible thing to do was to destroy this message and try again to, as acquaintances never tired of advising her, "Get on with her life."

Except that she couldn't do it. She couldn't pretend that the last six months had never happened, couldn't un-see the terrible things that she'd witnessed. The Reapers were still out there, waiting for the time when they would exterminate the people of this cycle. The asari and all the rest of the races would end up like the Protheans, dead civilizations puzzled over by confused archeologists 50,000 years from now.

After the destruction of the _Normandy_, the survivors had reasoned, pleaded, and screamed themselves hoarse trying to make the politicians understand that. The Council didn't want to hear it though. They'd declared Sovereign a Geth dreadnought, the attack on Shepard retaliation for the Battle of the Citadel, and closed the matter.

In the end, the crew had given up in frustration; Tali going back to her people, Ashley reassigned by the Alliance, Garrus vanishing Goddess knew where. Shepard's team was shattered into pieces, and it was going to take a miracle to bring them back together again.

If politics made Liara's days frustrating, her nights were even worse, spent choking on a grief that felt like it would never end. She had only known Ashara a few months but in that brief span the human had come to mean more to her than she would ever have thought possible.

Ashara had saved her life on Therum, but she had also changed it. Before Liara met her, her eyes had been fixed on the past, on dusty ruins and obscure academic controversies, but Shepard had brought her out of her shell and imparted to the archeologist some of her sense of obligation to the galaxy.

She had also awakened a passion within Liara she had never known was there. Before she'd met Ashara, not only had she never bonded with anyone, she'd never felt a strong desire to do so. Now, the memory of what she had and lost haunted her. Their missions, their talks, their few, precious nights together, those had been the best times of her life and now that Ashara was gone, the pain was like nothing the asari had ever felt before. Every time she tried to sleep, she could still hear Shepard's strong, reassuring voice thick with desire as she said her name, her pale green eyes beaming lovingly at her. At times, her skin could almost feel the warmth of the Specter's hands running over it, and when the memories would pass, she'd feel empty, like everything good had gone out of her life.

No more. No more sitting in her mother's empty house on Thessia, watching the news lie about the cause that she and her beloved fought for. No more crying herself to sleep at night. She didn't want to live this way anymore, and the galaxy couldn't afford it. Ever since the attack on the _Normandy_, she's felt helpless, like events were spinning out of control and that there was nothing she could do to stop it. Now, she had been given a chance, and even if it's a desperate one, she had to take it. She'd never thought of herself as a hero, but Shepard never gave up on her mission no matter how grim things had looked and the asari would not be faithful to her lover if she quit now. As she hit the reply button on her terminal, a charge of energy ran through her. At last, she was doing something, even if it wasn't the sensible thing.

"Ms. Lawson, I accept your terms. Send details immediately." –Liara T'Soni

**These stories are in the same setting as ****Ashara Shepard: The Fourth Life****, but neither is necessary to understand the other. Feedback is welcomed and if you have thoughts on scenes you'd like to see, I will consider them.**

**Note: I have not read the Mass Effect comics and do not treat anything outside of the games themselves as canon.**


	3. Planning

Liara had always believed in planning. Thesis plans, lunch plans, plans for an expedition: she was the sort of careful, studious asari who tried to game out her actions and their likely consequences in advance of doing anything, especially anything likely to get her killed. Of course, ever since she'd met Ashara Shepard, very little in her life had gone according to plan, and her attempt to recover her lover's body had proven to be no exception.

With Cerberus' help, she had tracked the Blue Suns responsible for taking it to a dock on Illium, but once there, the situation had gotten very un-planned very quickly. Though most of the body-snatchers were dead, so were the two mercenaries she'd hired for additional muscle and the Drell information dealer, Feron, who Cerberus had put her in contact with had disappeared during the firefight.

A batarian and a human on her left, another human on her right. Not the greatest odds, but she'd certainly faced worse during the hunt for Saren. Without warning, she rolled out from behind the metal crates that she'd been using as a shield and swiftly dashed to the crane the human on the right had found shelter near. He and his comrades were taken off-guard; with her back-up killed or missing, they had expected that she'd retreat, not go on the offensive. It wasn't an option though; Liara knew that if she let them get the cryonic pod containing Ashara's body on their shuttle, any hope of saving her would be lost forever.

The human barely had time to swivel his assault rifle towards her before she caught him with a blast of biotic energy. His shields buckled, and while he staggered backwards, she shot him three times at point-blank range, ducking out of the way of his falling body and behind the crane as the other two mercenaries recovered from their surprise sufficiently to open fire on her.

Once they realized they had no clear shot at her current location, she heard their foot-steps moving in opposite directions, attempting to flank her. Silently, she thanked Ashara for all that the Specter had taught her. Before she joined the crew of the _Normandy_, she'd survived a few dangerous situations thanks to her powerful biotics, but she hadn't been a soldier and wouldn't have been prepared to deal with this attack.

Now, though, she knew what to do next. With a gesture, a singularity flew out of her hand and expanded off to her right, blocking the approach route of the batarian while Liara moved quickly to the left. The second human was expecting her to attack as he rounded the nearby stack of boxes, but he didn't realize how strong her barriers were. The first two shots from his pistol failed to breach them and he didn't get to make another attempt. Liara's return fire dropped his shields and before he could retreat behind cover, her biotics had him, lifting him up in the air and slamming his body to the ground. Once, the sickening crunch his neck made as it snapped at an unnatural angle would have startled her, but after all that she'd been through, she barely paid it any attention beyond noting that he was definitely dead.

The last of the Blue Suns had struggled his way around the singularity by then, but he was still wobbly from it's aftereffects and the blast from his shotgun only grazed her barrier. Back-pedaling quickly, firing as she went, Liara bought herself time to recover her mental energy and by the time the batarian had found his footing sufficiently to come at her, she was ready for him. She broke his off-balance charge with a powerful thrust of biotic force to his chest, hurling him off his feet and crushing his ribs.

Breathing hard, Liara raced over to kneel next to the fallen mercenary. "Who paid you to do this?", she demanded. "Who wants Shepard?" It was no use, but though the batarian was already dead, when Liara started to rise, her question was answered by a voice coming from behind her.

"Stay right where you are, Doctor T'Soni. You try to raise those barriers and I'll have to pull this trigger."

"Feron? What are you doing?"

"My job. The Shadow Broker has had quite enough of your interference in this matter."

"The Shadow Broker?" She felt like an idiot, stumbling around in the dark. "What does he want with Shepard?"

"What does it matter? Now, I like you, Doctor, so I'm going to give you a chance to walk away from this. Just get up and leave, and when my associates get here, I'll tell them that you got away."

"I cannot do that. You know what Shepard means, how important she is to the galaxy."

"I know that you're a lovesick asari who can't let her dead girlfriend go. Everything else is probably bullshit."

"No. It. Is. Not." There was a cold fury in her voice, an anger born of betrayal and seemingly endless disbelief that startled the drell. For just a moment, he hesitated, the gun wavering in his hand, and that's all the time she needed. Liara's biotic powers enveloped her and before Feron could react, a burst of energy knocked the pistol from his hand and slammed him into a wall.

"You think that this is a fantasy? That I am just a grieving maiden? Allow me to show you otherwise. Embrace eternity!"

Her hand pressed against his scaled forehead and the information dealer was too stunned to refuse, allowing her to initiate a shallow meld, just enough to share with him a few of the memories that haunted her dreams. The death-agonies of the Protheans. The horrible, metallic voice of Sovereign declaring their imminent destruction. Matriarch Benezia collapsing under the power of the indoctrination. The _Normandy_ being ripped apart by what Cerberus had since told Liara was a Collector attack.

"That is what we are facing," she told him after she withdrew her thoughts. Her voice softened slightly as she could see the shock and dismay written on his face. "That is what we need her to fight."

"Goddess!" Feron gasped. "I didn't know... I, for few lousy credits, I almost… The Collectors… the Broker's doing this for a huge bounty, it must be from them."

Outside the dock, Liara heard the heavy sound of many boots slamming against the metal floor. "Who is that?"

"My backup. More of the Shadow Broker's men, a dozen at least. Even dead, taking a Specter could bring a lot of heat, so I was supposed to observe you and only call them in if the Blue Suns failed."

"We have to get Shepard onto the shuttle."

"There's not enough time. You do it, I'll distract them."

"But you will be…"

"There's no other way. I brought them here, I need to make it right."

"Thank you." She wished that there was more she could say in that moment, but under the circumstances, it would have to do.

Liara rushed back to the shuttle and the nearby cryonic pod while Feron made his way to the dock entrance. As she lifted the unit with a biotic field and pushed it up the gangplank, she could hear the drell spinning a story about how Liara had escaped the hanger and doubled back into the city. She wasn't sure if they believed him but when they checked near the ship and found Shepard gone, they would know he was lying so she wasted no time rushing on-board and firing up the engines. As she began to lift off, the Broker's forces realized they'd been deceived, opening fire on her with everything they had. It wasn't enough to stop her escape, but Liara could feel the ship shaking with the impact of the blasts, and she knew that staying and hoping that Feron could somehow make it out with her was not an option. Right now, all she could do was leave, make a promise to herself that the Broker would pay for what he'd done, and pray that Feron's sacrifice wouldn't be in vain.


	4. A Little Wing and a Prayer

Before Liara had retrieved Shepard's body on Illium, a small part of her had been clinging to the possibility that she wouldn't have to do this. Maybe, just maybe, whatever the commander's injuries might be, conventional, if extensive, medical treatment would be sufficient to revive her.

That fantasy had lasted exactly as long as it took Liara to look inside the stasis pod. What she saw there had almost made her vomit. Most of Shepard's body was barely recognizable and certainly not alive, her skin blackened and burned, her chest still, but what had made it truly terrible was her head. Though her beautiful features had been marred by cuts and much of her dirty blonde hair was gone, the face atop what seemed like it must be a corpse still clearly belonged to the woman Liara loved.

It was an image that the asari couldn't get out of her head, but though it filled her with horror, it also meant that she couldn't give up hope despite how bad Shepard looked. If the head was largely intact, if the brain had not been too badly damaged, then perhaps something could still be done and that chance was why she was standing on a small landing pad on Ferris Fields, anxiously gazing up at the sky, while she prepared herself to do something that she very badly did not want to have to do.

She didn't need to wait long. A few minutes after she'd arrived, a second shuttle, larger, sleeker, and far deadlier than the civilian craft she'd appropriated from the Blue Suns landed 20 meters or so away from the archeologist, and as four Cerberus troopers disembarked clad in combat armor and carrying assault rifles, Liara suddenly felt very outgunned. Of course, she realized sadly, there was no reason for them to try to kill her. There was no trade to be made here, nothing for her to be cheated out of. She would hand Ashara over to them, and all that she would get in exchange was a tiny sliver of hope.

The human woman who followed the soldiers off of the shuttle was superficially similar to Shepard despite her darker hair: tall, self-assured, and beautiful, she was striking in a way that reminded Liara a little bit of her fallen lover. However, while the commander had been confidant, this woman seemed to go beyond that into arrogance, and when she spoke, her voice was devoid of the compassion that Ashara's had possessed.

"Doctor T'Soni. I'm Miranda Lawson. I see," she said, glancing over at the cryonic pod, "you've brought the package."

The package. The cold, impersonal way tone behind the woman's words sent a shiver through Liara at the thought of handing her beloved over to her but she controlled her disgust and kept her voice level and professional.

"Yes, your information was adequate. However, the Shadow Broker was trying to recover Shepard as well; I believe he wanted the reward offered by the Collectors. You should be aware of that in case he makes another attempt."

"Duly noted. We'll be prepared. I trust you didn't have too much difficulty dealing with his forces?"

"It was nothing I was not capable of handling." Though she was grieving over Feron's sacrifice, she would not share her pain with this terrorist.

"Very well, then." Miranda nodded to the guards, who moved towards Liara. The asari realized that as they'd been speaking, she had placed a hand on the pod in an unconscious protective gesture, but as the soldiers approached, she forced herself to break the contact. When the unit containing Shepard's body was carried towards the Cerberus shuttle, Liara found it hard to look away. Ashara was leaving, and she had no choice but to let it happen.

She was snapped out of her distracted state by the sharp voice of the operative. "I believe that concludes your involvement in this matter, Doctor, unless there's something else I'm not aware of."

Liara found herself conflicted. A part of her wanted to plead with Miranda to be allowed to come with her, to stay close to her lover no matter where the journey might take them. She imagined Ashara being brought to a lab likes the ones they'd destroyed on Binthu, and she desperately wanted to go with her, to not have her be alone when she woke up in such a horrible place.

A different part wanted to threaten Miranda, to warn the woman that if Cerberus was secretly after the Collector bounty as well, or did some other, terrible thing to Shepard, then she would make them suffer for it. That somehow, no matter what it took, she would find them and exact retribution if they betrayed the faith the asari was now putting in an organization she had every reason to distrust.

And yet, she knew that there would be no point in saying those things. Cerberus would never agree to take her along, and even if they did, she still had work to do. As for the warning, this Miranda Lawson clearly wouldn't be intimated by one angry asari maiden, even if, Liara thought to herself, she should be. Cerberus' intentions wouldn't be changed by her threats and giving voice to them when she was in no position to back them up would only create further complications.

Taking a breath, she fought down the urges and replied with all the calm dignity she could muster. "No, that is all, Ms. Lawson. Take good care of her, though. She is extremely precious to the galaxy." And to me, she added silently.

"Do you think we would be doing this if we weren't aware of how important she is to the human race? You needn't worry, she's in the best of hands."

Liara very much doubted that, and as she watched the Cerberus shuttle disappear into the distance, the worry and grief that the mission had pushed aside began to resurface. Back on board her ship, she picked up the jagged ruins of a chest plate that she had found after she hijacked the shuttle back on Illium. At first, she'd been ready to throw it away, but when she'd turned it over, she'd realized that it was Shepard's armor, emblazoned with the familiar N-7 insignia. The ship's logs indicated that it had been taken off of Ashara's body when she was placed in the cryonic pod by the scavengers who'd initially found her and then was sent to the Blue Suns as proof that they really had Shepard. Now, it was all that she had left of the Specter, and as Liara traced her blue fingers across it's hard surface, she whispered, "Be strong, love. Come back to me."

She would have to be strong too. Despite the fact that the mission was over, she could not go back to just waiting for the end of the galaxy to arrive. Though she might not be able to stop the Reaper's return by herself, she could at least track down the Shadow Broker and determine his connection to the Collectors. After all, she thought, brushing away a tear, when Shepard woke up, it wouldn't do for Liara to tell her that she'd just been sitting around crying.

* * *

**I'm sorry about the chapter title, I just couldn't resist the pun.**


	5. A Thousand Questions

When the call came, it wasn't the way she'd imagined it. There was no grand moment, no dramatic revelation, just her at her desk leafing through an endless series of intelligence reports and Nyxeris' pleasant voice breaking in over her terminal.

"Doctor T'Soni. You told me to inform you if there were any further updates regarding the _Normandy_ so I thought you'd like to know that it's scheduled to dock at Nos Astra in approximately half an hour."

In an instant, the reports vanished from Liara's thoughts. Once, the news would probably have robbed the asari of the ability to speak coherently, but two years of keeping her feelings at bay while she worked had disciplined her and her voice stayed calm when she replied, "Thank you, Nyxeris. Please arrange for the docking fees to be paid on their behalf, and make sure that the customs agent who informs their landing party of this also lets them know that I would like to see them at their convenience."

"Of course, Doctor."

Once Liara terminated the connection, a flood of different emotions begun to compete for space in her brain. Hope and fear, joy and uncertainty all hit her at once as she realized that, though she'd dreamed about this day for two years, she still wasn't certain what to she was going to do now that it had arrived.

After she had first given Ashara's body to Miranda Lawson, Liara had been left without the slightest clue as to what might be happening to her beloved, but as her resources and contacts had grown, she'd been able to see glimpses. The Illusive Man, as the leader of Cerberus apparently called himself, guarded his secrets well, but she'd managed to discover that around the same time she had recovered Shepard, he'd started pouring huge sums of money into a top secret research project. She hadn't been able to learn anything definitive about it's purpose, but given that some of the funds had been spent hiring doctors and making investments in bleeding-edge medical technologies, she had her suspicions and she'd been encouraged by the fact that this spending had continued for two years, the research apparently being considered promising enough for billions of credits to continue to be poured into it.

Then, a little over a month ago, the expenditures had suddenly ceased and before Liara could spend too much hoping or worrying about what that meant, a new series of rumors had started to cross her desk. A ship that resembled the original _Normandy_ had been spotted in the Terminus Systems. The prison ship _Purgatory_ had been destroyed by an unidentified team of commandos, some of whom might have been wearing N-7 armor. A woman who resembled Ashara had been seeing talking to Aria T'Loak on Omega.

Each time Liara heard one of these stories, her heart leapt a little, but it wasn't until after the attack on Horizon that she got more solid information. A source had given her a report that a woman who identified herself as Commander Shepard had driven away the Collectors before being seen arguing with Lt. Ashley Williams of the Alliance, who had been at the colony on special assignment.

When Liara had read that, she had desperately wanted it to be true, to let herself believe that Ashara was really alive. All that her heart desired in that moment was to find a way to get a message to the _Normandy_, to beg Shepard to come to Illium so that they could be together again. Her head wasn't as sure what to think. The nightmare image of her girlfriend's burnt body had tormented her, and it was hard to believe that what came back from that could really be her Ashara. Could Cerberus have spent two years growing and training a clone instead, or a programming a VI facsimile to run inside the shell of the woman she'd loved?

Even if it really was her, Liara wasn't the shy archeologist the commander had fallen in love with anymore. Despite the fact that before she'd met Shepard, she had killed, defending while herself on expeditions, two years of burying her love, her grief, and her uncertainty while waging a secret war with the Shadow Broker had made her harder and more ruthless than she'd ever imagined herself being. She was terrified that she'd see Ashara again only to discover that human no longer wanted the woman that Liara had become.

Nor were those the only questions she had. Did Ashara know the asari was the one who had given her to Cerberus? Would she be angry if she found out? Was she even on Illium to see Liara at all or had some other business brought her here by chance? There were a thousand of these mysteries rattling around in her brain, but as she tried to puzzle out even one or two answers, she was interrupted by the aggravating beeping noise her terminal refused to stop making at her.

When she answered the call, Cormack Keller's hologram flickered into existence. A wealthy, if somewhat disreputable, businessman who operated on Illium, she'd sold him the location of a gang of salarians who'd stolen his company's prototype decryption machine. It was good money, but he'd only given her half up-front, with the other half to be paid when his security people found the thieves.

"Mr. Keller. I trust that my information was good," she asked curtly.

Her nervous mood was not improved by his reply. "In a way, Doctor T'Soni," didn't make it sound like this would be the smooth transaction she needed right now.

"Were the culprits at the apartment you were told you would find them in?"

"They were, but by the time we got there, they had already fenced the machine to a competitor of mine."

"I am sorry to hear that but it is not relevant to our business. The deal was for the location of the salarians, whom you found."

"Yes, but since I'm still out the money for the prototype, I'm afraid I won't be able to pay you the other half of your fee."

Her mind angrily flashed back to something her mother had once said. It was perhaps not the most politic thing to repeat here, but in her current state of mind, she had no intention of being cheated by this crooked executive.

"Mr. Keller, I am finished arguing with you. Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have. I'll make it simple. Either you pay me, or I flay you alive. With my mind."

It was just as she finished her threat that she heard the footsteps behind her, and when she turned around, what she saw made her pay no attention to either Keller's frightened nod or his image vanishing behind her.

"Shepard! Nyxeris, hold my calls."

The woman standing in front of her certainly seemed like Shepard. It wasn't her looks that convinced Liara; though the beautiful face staring back was just as she remembered it, the scars gone, the blonde hair regrown, Cerberus could have cloned that. No, it was the littler things: the confidence in her bearing and the warmth in her pale green eyes that started to melt away Liara's doubts and fears. All of the words she'd considered saying were set aside as she silently took the human's hands in her own and when she felt the reassuring firmness of her grip and the soft touch of their lips pressing together, she somehow knew beyond any doubt that this was Ashara Shepard. There were still a thousand questions that they'd have to answer but in that moment, that single fact was all that mattered to her.

**There's one more chapter left in this arc, covering Liara and Shepard's rekindling of their relationship after defeating the Shadow Broker, but I may add more chapters in the future if there is interest.**


	6. Tonight

"So tell me what you want. If this all ends tomorrow, what happens to us?"

She'd avoided asking the question for days now, ever since Shepard had walked into her office on Illium. At first, she'd been afraid of how she might react to Ashara's answer, no matter what it was. Neither the pain of rejection nor the desire to lose herself in the human's arms were what she'd needed then, not when she was so close to finding the Shadow Broker.

As of this afternoon, the Broker was no longer an issue, but though she and Ashara had vanquished her enemy, doubt was still holding Liara back. It wasn't attraction that was the problem: the kisses they'd shared after the battle ended had been electric, and when Shepard had joked about enjoying the last time Liara put pressure on her, flutters of remembered pleasure had run through the asari's whole being. Standing in the commander's impressively spacious cabin, looking at Ashara's toned body on display in the little black dress the human had worn for their date, Liara wanted more than anything to touch and be touched by her again.

And yet, she still wasn't certain that they were going to be together again. The pain of losing her lover two years ago, the knowledge that tomorrow Shepard would return to saving the galaxy and she would have to figure out how to be the new Shadow Broker, all of it had been making it hard for her to figure out where she stood with the commander. At last though, the sense of urgency that came from not knowing when she would get another chance like this to talk with Ashara had convinced Liara that she had to ask.

"I don't know. Marriage, old age, and a lot of little blue children?"

In spite of the tension she was feeling, a smile broke out across Liara's face. All of her agonizing and Shepard had made it sound so simple. She gave the human a playful shove as she replied, "You just say these things."

She too wanted it to be that easy, but as the truth underneath Shepard's joke sunk in, that Ashara really did want to be with her again, all of her buried emotions started breaking through to the surface. Overwhelmed, she retreated towards one of the large windows, tears starting to well up in her blue eyes as she gave voice to the pain she'd been carrying.

"Goddess. You were dead"

She could hear Shepard's footsteps following behind her, her voice comforting. "I got better."

Liara turned, wrapping her arms around Ashara, their embrace reinforcing that the human really had come back and the fact that she was here, now, offering her heart to Liara was almost beyond belief. And yet the information broker turned away again, staring out into space, trying to articulate the fear that was still holding her back from giving in to her desire for Shepard.

"This time. But you're going to leave again. When your team is ready, you'll leap through the Omega 4 Relay. I spent two years mourning you, so if we're going to try this, I need to know you're always coming back."

No sooner had the words left the new Shadow Broker's mouth than she realized what a ridiculous thing she had just asked Shepard to guarantee. There were no certainties, not with the Collectors and the Reapers coming for all of them, but right now, the woman she'd missed for so long was standing in front of her, asking Liara to be her lover again, and she would have to be a fool to turn away from that. Before the asari could take back her condition though, Shepard showed her the respect of not lying to her, trying instead to lighten the mood.

"I don't know. It's a pretty big promise to make," she teased.

"Oh, is it," Liara laughed back. Her decision made, she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her chest and all she wanted right now was to enjoy the little time they had tonight.

Ashara pulled her closer then, and as she whispered huskily against the asari's neck,"I'd have to have something special to come back to," Liara could feel a rush of heat filling her body, the stirring of a dormant passion.

Running a hand through Ashara's hair, she purred back, "I'm open to suggestions," her sultry expression leaving no doubt as to what kind she had in mind.

When Shepard breathed, "How about… this" and Liara felt a strong hand run over her backside and up her spine, she gasped, her head tilting backwards with desire, her eyes darkening slightly. The speed of her arousal shocked her. Since Shepard died, she hadn't touched anyone else; indeed she had barely touched herself, the pain of the memories it evoked spoiling any enjoyment she might have gotten from the act, but now all of that repressed craving started to flood to the surface.

She kissed Shepard hard, and when their embrace broke, her whispered reply was playful but full of arousal. "I think that seems like it might be an excellent idea, but I would need to know more."

With that encouragement, Shepard's hands went to Liara's red and blue dress, deftly unzipping the garment and sliding it off of her shoulders. As the asari stood there, now clad only in a pair of lacy white underwear, the desire in Ashara's gaze was enough to make the information broker tremble slightly with excited anticipation.

"God, you're beautiful, Liara," Shepard said in a low voice, her tone almost reverent. "I missed… every inch of you." Ashara let her actions her mirror her words, her strong hands caressing each spot on the scientist as she described it. "I missed the curve of your hips. I missed the way your nipples harden when I brush my thumbs against them. I missed the line of your neck…" Liara could fell herself becoming more and more flushed, and when a warm tongue slid over the sensitive folds of her crest, the surge of wanting nearly caused her to fall as her knees buckled underneath her.

Liara staggered backwards towards the bed and Shepard followed, pausing only for a moment to pull off her own dress before lying down next to the asari. Looking at Ashara's pale skin, Liara's breath caught in her throat for an instant, almost unable to believe that the body she had seen in that stasis pod could have been restored to this.

Before she could become too lost in her thoughts however, the weight of her lover moving up against her brought her back to the present. There's an urgency in the kisses Shepard presses on her, a degree of intensity she'd never felt before, not before Ilos nor in any of the times they'd made love after Sovereign had been destroyed but before the _Normandy_ was lost.

"Meld with me." Ashara's words and the strain in her voice as she said them surprised Liara. In the past, she had usually been the one to request the joining. The sharing of thoughts and sensations was pleasurable for her human lover, but it wasn't native to her and so it wasn't something that she normally ached for in this way.

"Embrace eternity." As her eyes went black and their minds came together, the two years they had lost seemed to melt away in their familiar mental embrace, but though the love and strength that Liara had always seen in the Specter were still there, alongside them she felt a loneliness, receding, but still present, and speaking without words, she tried to reassure her lover.

"I am here, Ashara."

"I know. I love you and it means so much that you still love me too."

"I never stopped. Never. I was only afraid that it would not work anymore, that you would not want me back."

"Liara, why wouldn't I?"

"I… so much happened to me. I am not the same person…"

"You're so strong." Liara could feel pride shining in Ashara's thoughts. "I know it's been hard but what you did today was incredible and I've never wanted to be with you more than I do now."

"Show me."

Shepard needed no further urging and Liara gasped as the human's mouth closed around her breast, her tongue pressing against the stiff nipple. She felt the earlier heat rising again, hotter than before, reinforced by the pleasure Ashara took in touching her. As her lover's hands caressed her skin, the asari reached down, sliding off first her own panties and then starting to remove Shepard's black ones, wanting there to be nothing separating them.

As Shepard paused to finish kicking off her underwear, Liara took the initiative, running her tongue up the commander's neck and over her earlobe. It was always intriguing experiencing the echo of her ministrations there through the bond; asari didn't have external ears, and she'd been delighted the first time she'd discovered for herself how sensitive they were.

"I know how you feel." Hearing her thoughts, Shepard had turned her attentions to Liara's crest, a similarly asymmetric erogenous zone, and as her fingers traced between the folds, the information broker felt the throbbing between her legs start to become acute.

Ashara sensed it too, her free hand moving to Liara's core, and when her girlfriend's digits traced along the dark blue scales there, the asari's cry of pleasure was so loud it surprised both of them. She'd missed this so badly and all she wanted to do was lose herself in the feeling of Shepard's touch on her most intimate places.

The commander was more than happy to accommodate her, her nimble fingers delving inside the scientist, finding her incredibly ready. Liara could sense Ashara sharing her pleasure, savoring the heat of her lover surrounding her, but she could also feel aching need from the Specter, it's intensity mirroring the asari's, and she slid her hand down the commander's stomach, brushing through the silky hair above her sex and over her inner lips. Even before she entered her, Liara could feel how wet she was, and when two of her digits curled into Ashara, the slick tightness around her and the commander's relief at feeling Liara inside her made the asari's body grip tighter around Shepard's fingers in response.

"I feel whole." The thought started in Ashara, but Liara finished it, her earlier doubts banished, replaced by acceptance, happiness, and the certainty that she was precisely where she should be, that nothing could be more right than having Shepard in her heart, in her life, and in her.

Ashara's hips started to push against her hand, longing for more, and Liara responded, moving her fingers at first slowly, but then more forcefully as Shepard reciprocated, their rhythm flowing naturally from their bond. When Shepard's fingers slid out of her to find her swollen bud, coating it in the asari's wetness as Ashara caressed the throbbing nub, Liara could feel herself pushing towards to the edge. She pressed her palm against the commander's clitoris, and as her lover ground against her hand, the delicious friction it produced drove both of them closer still.

The sensations they were feeling started to run together, Liara's mind filling with pleasures both given and received: a tongue running along an arched neck, fingers thrusting back inside while a thumb replaced them on the most sensitive point, breasts pressed against sweaty skin, "I love you," whispered back and forth… when the orgasm erupted from within them, Liara couldn't even tell where it started, their bliss seeming to be perfectly shared.

For how long she couldn't tell they kept moving within and against each other, their repeated peaks blending together. Every time one them started to come down, the other's ecstasy drove them higher again and even when, at last, Liara withdrew her sticky fingers from her lover, she couldn't resist pressing them against Shepard's still-trembling clit, drawing a final, gasping aftershock from the human.

"Jesus, Liara," Ashara breathed as the ability to speak normally started to return. "I'd say you have no idea how badly I need that, but…"

"I did too." Liara brought first one and then another slim finger up to her lips, sucking on them gently, and when she heard the hitch in Shepard's breathing, she whispered, "I missed your taste."

"In that case," Ashara smiled tantalizing back at her, "I have another suggestion to make."

"Goddess, yes," Liara purred, and as Shepard's tongue started to lick down her body while the Specter shifted to allow Liara to do the same to her, a happy thrill ran through the archeologist. If, for now, they only had this one night, she was immeasurably glad that they were making the most of it.


	7. Waiting and Anticipation

"_My beloved Liara,"_ the letter began, and immediately she knew who the message was from. No one else would address her that way, especially not someone writing on the secure channel normally used for Shadow Broker operatives to report.

"_It's time. Tomorrow morning, we'll be going through the Omega 4 Relay and though I have great deal to do before then, I needed to let you know. I realize that we'd talked about my coming to see you first, but there just isn't time. The Collectors hit the Normandy when the squad and I were away. They got everyone but Joker, and I have to go and get them back. Miranda says we should wait, but this is my crew and my responsibility."_

"_The last time we were together, I tried not to make any promises I couldn't keep, but I can promise you this: I will fight with everything I have to make it back to you and no matter what happens, I will always love you. The night that we spent together made me feel more alive than I have in two years, and I don't have the words to thank you enough for that. Be strong and hopefully, I will see you soon."_

_ Love,_

_ Ashara_

She closed the message, wiping away a tear with her gloved hand. She knew that this day was coming, but she had thought there would be a little bit more time before it did, had hoped that perhaps she would have one more night to show the woman she loved how much she meant to her.

Desperately, hopelessly, she wished that she could be there alongside Ashara. Intellectually, she knew why it made more sense for her to remain where she was. Though she was a powerful biotic and a competent fighter, Shepard had plenty of those on her team. Liara's greatest value to her love and to their cause was as the Shadow Broker. The intelligence she had access to, the resources she could mobilize, the tools at her command to move the governments of the galaxy: all of that would be sorely needed in the dark days to come.

If something were to go wrong, if Ashara did not come back, then it would fall to Liara to prepare the galaxy as best she could for the coming Reaper invasion and she could hardly do that if she died alongside the commander. And yet, that sensible precaution filled Liara with dread. The prospect of being left alone, bereft of love, to rally a galaxy in the service of a cause that might well be hopeless was a black prospect she could barely stand to contemplate.

To stave off the fear, she attempted to work. She buried herself in intelligence reports. She arranged for the Alliance to "accidentally" discover a pirate base in the Attican Traverse. She threatened a crooked turian politician with the exposure of his affair with a general's wife to secure his support for increased fighter production. She held up the delivery of weapons to Blood Pack mercenaries who had been raiding hanar shipping.

Eventually, fatigue started to set in, but she did not even attempt sleep, knowing that it was hopeless. She did make an effort to eat something, but in spite of her hunger, she found she that after only a few bites of her noodles, she was doing little but pushing them around her plate. Feron checked in once, at first simply wanting to give her a report, than concerned about her demeanor, but she sent him away. As much as she didn't want to be left alone with her thoughts, pretending conversation was beyond her at that moment.

Part of what scared her was that if Ashara failed, she would simply disappear into silence. No ship would come back from beyond the Omega 4 Relay and no word of her love's death would ever reach her, even her vast network being useless to bring her the one piece of information she craved more than any other. Instead, Liara would simply sit here as despair set in, as every day a bit more of her heart died. No. She could not think like that. Shepard was strong, the strongest person she had ever known. If anyone could do this, if there was any way, she would find it.

The hours ticked by slowly, and more and more the files in front of her started to blur together. Corruption, greed, violence… the bread and butter of the Shadow Broker's trade, one sorry tale after another. Was that all her life was going to be? A never ending saga of…

"Shadow Broker."

The info-drone's voice cut through the haze of worry and self-pity. "What is it?"

"You have a call from the _Normandy_ SR-2. Would you like to answer it?"

Please let this mean what she thinks it does. "Yes. Immediately," she stammered out.

She heard it before she saw it. Even while the image on her screen was still coming into focus, Shepard's strong voice filled her ears, banishing her doubts and fears. "Liara. It's me."

"Ashara." Relief filled her whole being, the agony of the last day turning into merely a bad dream that she was now waking from. "Thank the Goddess. Are you all right?"

Then the picture stabilized and Liara could see that she was. Standing in the comm room of the _Normandy_, Ashara not only appeared unharmed aside from a few small scrapes and cuts, but triumphant. The asari's heart soared higher with every word she heard, pride in the woman she loved filling her being. "I'm fine. We did it, Liara. We destroyed the Collector's home base, and everyone made it out okay. The crew, the squad, they're all safe."

For an instant, her joy was tempered by a flash of shame. How could she have doubted Shepard like that, after all of the remarkable things she had seen her do? Before she could dwell on it any further though, Ashara continued. "Now that it's over, if you have the time, I'd like to come by. I believe that I still owe you a visit."

"And you are owed a celebration." She's not sure how much time she really has, but she will make it.

Ashara beams at her. "Great. We'll be there in a day or so. There's a lot more to tell, but I think it would be better to do it in person."

"Of course. I will be waiting."

That waiting was of a very different kind than the agony of the past day. The knot in her gut had been replaced with a thrill of anticipation. Her appetite restored, Liara wolfed down what remained of her food and headed for her shower. When she remembered to care, she sometimes worried about what this job was doing to her personal habits. Isolation made it all too easy to be indifferent to how she presented herself, but Ashara's impending visit had reminded her of such concerns.

The shower itself was huge; a rare luxury on a ship mostly notable for its austerity in spite of the wealth of its past owners. She supposed the yagh must have modified it in order to accommodate his massive bulk. Goddess, that thing had been huge. Watching Shepard rush in, pummeling the Broker in close combat had been quite something. Remembering her lover's gallantry, Liara felt a thrum of desire in her body. She ran her hands over her wet blue skin, and heat filled her. Too often, she'd been deprived not only of Shepard's presence, but even of the ability to remember better times without the pain of loss or the fear of the future.

Right then however, the memory of victory to say nothing of the night that followed it, was exciting her. When she brushed a finger over her clit, her body trembled and her first thought was to continue. Taking the edge off of her arousal would let her sleep more easily, but she restrained herself. She wanted to save that energy for when Ashara arrived and until then, she would make do.

She managed to get a little rest, sheer exhaustion overcoming her eager anticipation, and when she woke, she threw herself back into work. She suspected that she might not have too much time with Ashara, and she wanted to make certain they could spend it free of distractions. She finished what she could and postponed what she couldn't, re-scheduling the check-ins from her operatives away from the next couple of days. The sheer volume of issues that this job brought to her attention could be overwhelming sometimes. She had always been meticulous, focusing on a particular task and completing it before moving on, but as the Shadow Broker she was forced to leave a great deal undone no matter how hard she worked. She was trying to decide whether to worry about commercial espionage on Sur'kesh or new VI experiments on Illium when the sound of booted footsteps stirred her attention.

"Shepard! It's so good to see you." And indeed it was. Even more so than on their call, Ashara seemed full of life, happy, as if a massive weight had been lifted from her. Liara barely had time to stand up from her desk chair before Shepard had crossed the space between them, her arms pulling Liara in, her beauty, her scent filling the asari's senses. Ashara kissed her hard, her lips firm against Liara's while her tongue moved into her mouth, and she felt herself tremble with wanting. Shepard's hands were moving all over her, and as she breathed huskily, "It is very good to see you too, Shadow Broker," Liara remembered the last time she had seen her this way.

Their first night together before Ilos had been gentle bliss, soft and sweet, and exactly what a shy archeologist had needed to feel comfortable. Their second night though… It had been a day after the Battle of the Citadel, and flush with victory, Ashara had been a storm. Her passion was infectious and overwhelming, and their love-making had left both of them happily drained on the narrow bed in her quarters, sleeping until nearly noon the next day.

Shepard's fingers working at the buttons and zippers of her white coat pulled Liara back to reality. "Wait," she forced herself to say, "Not here."

"Why not?" Ashara laughed, her fingers caressing the folds of Liara's crest. "I know the yagh broke the last desk, but the one you replaced it with looks somewhat sturdier."

Her voiced wavered. "Too many interruptions. And Feron could walk in."

"Fine. Where?" Ashara sounded slightly disappointed and indeed the idea of her lover taking her on top of her desk had a certain appeal to Liara, but she gestured in the direction of an exit.

"There. My room."

They staggered towards the doorway in each other's arms, unwilling to relinquish physical contact, and Shepard informed her with a grin, "I quit Cerberus, Liara. After the mission, I told the Illusive Man just where he could shove his orders and took his ship and his crew for good measure."

"You seem quite pleased with that decision." They tumbled across the threshold and Ashara resumed removing the asari's jacket as the door closed behind them.

"Definitely. Now, I'm only working with one mysterious individual going by a fake name. And," she added, tossing the coat to the ground and running her hand up under Liara's plain white undershirt, "I trust her a lot more."

"I am glad to hear…" Liara's words were cut off by a groan of pleasure as Shepard's fingers found her nipple and rolled it between them. She moved to reciprocate, her suddenly shaky hands looking for the buttons of Ashara's shirt, her lips pressing against her face and neck, the taste of skin reminding Liara that Ashara really had come back alive.

Before she could do more than get Ashara's shirt open though, the commander spun her around, pressing her against the wall while her strong fingers continued to massage her soft blue breasts. Shepard's free hand dropped down between her legs, unbuttoning the information broker's white pants enough to slide inside them, pushing her underwear out of the way in her eagerness. Liara's brain started refusing to form words as she felt the welcome pressure against her clit, the urgent yet precise strokes beginning to satisfy a craving that had erupted within her with impressive force.

Ashara didn't appear to be suffering from the same limitation, and as she fingered the asari, her voice was husky. "I love you, Liara," she breathed. "And I love this so much." She pressed a kiss against the back of her crest, and Liara could only moan in agreement. "I love the way your body feels under my hands. I love the sounds you make. And I love how slick and good you feel around me." Her fingers slid inside Liara and the Shadow Broker felt her knees start to give way underneath her but before she could fall, Shepard moved forward, her body supporting her lover's while she continued.

Liara could feel herself coming undone, her mind overwhelmed by a pleasure so much better than the one she was now glad she had denied herself earlier, but she managed a final, semi-coherent question. "Wait, love. What about you?"

"It's okay," Ashara reassured her, her fingers speeding up the pace. "I know you'll get to me. I made you worry; let me do this." Liara could only nod as Shepard's palm rubbed against her clit while her fingers pressed against her inner walls. Her reservations gone, she let herself go, allowing Ashara to support her, to take her, the pleasure banishing the lingering clouds of doubt remaining from her painful wait.

"Yes, Liara," Shepard whispered, her breath hot against her flushed skin, "Let me feel this, feel how much you want me." Desperately thrusting her hips against Ashara's hand, Liara felt the last of her reserve slipping away, and with a final caress of Shepard's fingers inside her, she came, collapsing into Ashara's arms as her body shook with pleasure. Shepard held her, her strokes not stopping but slowing, gentler now, prolonging Liara's pleasure, drawing every last drop of it out of her.

When she could finally think again, Liara pulled herself up and turned around to look at Shepard. Her lover's green eyes were shinning with joy, and the simple knowledge of how much Ashara enjoyed her orgasm overwhelmed Liara. She pulled the human to her, pressing their mouths together, conveying as much feeling as could with the enthusiasm of her kiss. She ran an affectionate hand through her short blonde hair before stepping back to yank off the remains of her clothes, her undershirt, pants, boots, and now soaked panties joining her jacket on the floor.

Ashara licked her lips as she watched, but when Liara laughed, "You too," the commander hastily moved to undress herself as well. She looked magnificent Liara thought, the few bruises and scrapes the mission had left on her overwhelmed by the impression of strength and renewed confidence she gave off. Moving back into her embrace, Liara guided her lover towards the bed, laying down on top of her. For a moment, she just let herself lie there, feeling Ashara's arms hold her close, the comforting sound of her heartbeat clearly audible as her head rested against her chest. She could hear though a sharpness in Shepard's breathing, and she knew from past experience that she would be aching for her touch, something Liara was more than happy to give to her.

She lavished kisses on Ashara's body as she slid down, brushing her lips over her nicks and scrapes, and pressing her tongue over her pleasure points. Her lover moaned loudly, and Liara could tell she'd been right about how much Ashara needed this. Looking up coyly, delight filling her bright blue eyes, she dropped down between the commander's legs, finding her wonderfully wet. Liara loved that she could make her feel this way. When she'd first met Shepard, she'd thought she had no chance to with someone as incredible as her, and to see the effect that she had was still a thrill.

As she started to run her tongue over Shepard's outer lips, the commander's hips began moving against her almost immediately, writhing in response to her ministrations and Liara concluded that slow was definitely not the way to go here. They'll have all night for that, and right then she wanted to give Ashara the same release the human just gifted her with. Her fingers drew back Ashara's folds and she caressed the bud between them with her tongue. It had taken her a little practice to get this right, but she's never minded studying.

Shepard shuddered around her, and her hand reach downed, lovingly stroking the folds of Liara's crest as the asari continued. When Ashara found a particularly sensitive spot, Liara gasped, her concentration on what she was doing broken. Without meaning to, her eyes flashed black for a second and she brushed against Shepard's thoughts. Further desire filled her when she felt the arousal there, but even as she pulled back, Ashara smiled down at her. "It's okay. Join with me."

"I wanted to make this for you. What you just did to me…"

"Don't worry, I want this. Only please," Liara could hear the fierce desire in Shepard's voice, "Keep going."

She lowered her head again, and as she took in Shepard's rich taste, she let her mind reach out, Ashara's thoughts merging with hers. Alongside the love and wanting, there was a sense of relief and well-earned satisfaction. Ashara had been worried about the mission to attack the Collectors, an anxiety compounded by the guilt she'd felt when she lost the crew to them, and to have brought all of her people home safely had freed the desires that were always present but too often forced to the back of her thoughts by duty.

While Liara's tongue moved back over Shepard's clit, she could feel the human's fingers resume playing with her crest. The echo of Ashara's pleasure combined with the pressure against the ridges there were making her own still-sensitive body begin to ache with desire again. "Go ahead," Ashara's voice in her head told her. "I'll enjoy it too." Thus encouraged, she slid a hand down between her thighs, massaging herself, trying to satisfy the throbbing that she felt while she licked Shepard.

"Please, more."

Hearing the words in her lover's thoughts pushed Liara forward, savoring every reaction she elicited. As she felt Shepard getting closer, she whispered in her mind, "I see that this was worth coming back to," and the only word she heard back was, "Yes." Ashara crashed over the edge, and as her fingers her gripped Liara's head, the asari tumbled with her, the bond and a final press of her own hand more than sufficient stimulation to allow her to join lover in shared ecstasy.

Their pleasure gradually ebbed, and slowly withdrawing her thoughts, she crawled back up to lose herself again in Ashara's embrace. The human kissed her passionately on the lips, and her pale green eyes sparkled as she asked, "So, have I worn you out yet?"

Liara laughed happily as she buried her face in the commander's neck, and in-between kisses she replied. "I think I may still have the strength for a further celebration."

It was some time later that they lay peacefully in bed, their passion sated at last. As Shepard stroked Liara's back, she mouthed an apology the asari had not asked her for. "I'm sorry I can only stay the one day."

"It is all right. I'm simply glad that you were able to come."

Shepard laughed, "I certainly did. Repeatedly," and Liara blushed at her own naïveté. She was still getting used to the fact that to some humans, virtually anything could function as a double entendre. At least her lover was not nearly as bad as Joker. "Don't worry though," Shepard assured her. "I just have to rescue some doctor for Hackett that got captured by the batarians. After destroying the Collectors, this should be a piece of cake."

* * *

**Another chapter that's not quite in sequence, but it's the next thing I had an idea to write. There's about 2 chapters left (One on Mars, one at the end of ME3 that forms a bridge to 4****th**** Life) and after that, I'll probably re-sequence everything.**


	8. Separate Paths

"Ashara. It is so good to hear from you. I…"

Before she could get any further, Liara realized that something was wrong. It had been five days since she'd seen Shepard. Her fears about the mission beyond the Omega 4 Relay had proven unfounded; Ashara had succeeded brilliantly, destroying the Collector Base and rescuing the captured crew without losing a single member of her team, and afterwards, she had come to Hagalaz to celebrate.

Their reunion, though blissful, was sadly short however. Shepard had needed to leave after one night, Admiral Hackett having asked her to complete a mission for him in batarian space. She'd promised to call afterwards, but Liara's initial relief at the confirmation that her lover had returned safely was stopped in it's tracks by the haunted look she now saw in Ashara's pale green eyes.

"Liara, I… something's happened." Shepard's voice was uncertain, hollow even. Liara had never heard her like that before. She thought of Virmire, of the commander's grief and anger after she'd made the decision to leave Kaiden behind, but even then, she hadn't sounded as haunted as she did right now.

"What is it, love?"

"The Reapers, they were… they were already on their way. Even before I destroyed the Collectors, they were coming. They're in the Bahak system now."

A spike of panic shot through Liara. "But there is a relay in that system. They could be almost anywhere in the galaxy in a matter of hours."

"No. They can't. Not yet anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"I destroyed it." Shepard's voice sounded incredibly far away, like it was coming from the bottom of a pit. "The relay."

Liara's mind reeled. She'd always thought of the Mass Relays as eternal, fixed points in the galaxy. "How is that even possible?"

"I crashed an asteroid into it. The explosion, it wiped the whole system." Shepard choked up as she forced out her next words. "There were 300,000 batarians… They're all… There wasn't time…"

The revelation struck the asari like a shot to the chest. "Oh Goddess, Ashara." There were tears in Shepard's eyes, and the distance between them felt like a chasm. All that Liara wanted was to put her arms around her lover, to comfort her the way Ashara had done after they defeated the Shadow Broker, but the best she could manage right then was to fumble for words that might ease her pain. "You had no choice. If you had not…"

"You don't think I know that?! That I would have done it if there was any other way?! I killed 300,000 people because I didn't have a fucking choice!"

"I am so sorry. I did not mean…"

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry." Liara saw that the rage that had flashed so hot an instant earlier had already burned out, replaced with a deep sadness. "It's not your fault. It's just… That's what this war is going to be, isn't it? One terrible sacrifice after another, no matter what we do."

Liara yearned to tell her otherwise, but she hadn't wanted false reassurances before Ashara went to fight the Collectors, and her lover didn't need them now. "Probably. I do not know. All I can tell you is that whatever comes, we will face it together."

"I hope so." Ashara sighed, sounding uncertain about even that small promise. "Liara, there's something I have to do now." The asari could see Shepard regaining her bearings, the vulnerability she had allowed herself to show passing as the disciplined commander returned. "I have to go back to Earth. Hackett knows what I did and why, but the rest of the Alliance needs to be warned. I bought us a little time, but the Reapers will get to another relay. It might take weeks, or months, but they're still coming and we have to prepare."

"What about the batarians? Will they want revenge?"

"Hackett was worried about that but I don't think it matters."

"Why is that?" Ashara said nothing, and then it hit Liara. "Because the Hegemony is about to be destroyed." Ashara grimaced and there was a longer silence before the asari added quietly. "Let me come with you."

"You know you can't. Between this and my time with Cerberus, I may be detained for a while, and I need you out here. Your resources, your contacts, you have to use them to find some way to help stop these bastards. That has to come first."

Deep down, Liara had known that even before she'd spoken. "You are right, of course. I just wish…"

"I know. And thanks for offering. It meant a lot."

"I love you, Ashara."

"And I love you, Liara. But right now, the galaxy needs Commander Shepard and the Shadow Broker to save it."

Liara forced herself to smile a little. "Well, then, we had better not let them down."

"I have to go tell the crew now. No reason they should all end up in Alliance lockup with me."

"Goodbye, Shepard." Liara fought to keep the tears out of her eyes. She'd only just gotten Ashara back, and to be separated again for Goddess knew how long while the end of the world approached hurt, but the commander was carrying enough right then without Liara adding her own burdens to the load.

"Bye, Liara. I'll see you… whenever I can."

**This is one of those scenes that I assume took place, but that the game can't show you because of the way the ME2 - ME3 transition works. I wrote my take on another of them, Shepard saying goodbye to her crew, in "Long Way Home."**


	9. An Invasion and a Reunion

"How're you, Doctor T'Soni?"

Though she answered the soldier's question with a simple, "I am well, Lieutenant Tompkins," the truth was far more complicated. Under ordinary circumstances, she would have been thrilled to be on Mars. The archives there were probably the best-preserved source of information on the protheans remaining in the galaxy, and to be granted access to them was an incredible privilege. These, however, were anything but ordinary circumstances.

The six months since Shepard turned herself into the Alliance hadn't been agonizing in the way that the two years after her death were. Liara's intelligence sources have let her know that her love is safe and well treated, but also that she isn't being allowed to do anything useful. Ashara would be going crazy in under those conditions, and to be unable to be with her, to provide whatever comfort she could, pained Liara deeply.

It hurt too how little time she and Shepard have had together since they rekindled their relationship. A night after Hagalaz, a night after the Collector base, a few brief calls, and then they were separated again. Those moments had been so good, their renewed love so powerful, but now she was worried again, concerned about the effects of another long separation after so brief a reunion.

She wanted to hold Ashara again so badly that it hurt sometimes. The heat of Ashara's skin under her fingers, the texture of her hair, the strength of her voice: those were the things that filled Liara's dreams, at least the good ones. But even though Ashara felt so close, Liara couldn't find a way to even speak to her. The Alliance wasn't allowing Shepard to receive calls from outside parties, and while Liara suspected she could bypass their security, it wouldn't be wise. Not only could it publicize her identity as the Shadow Broker, there was a risk it would further complicate her lover's precarious legal situation. Visiting would be even worse, costing Liara time she didn't have even if she could get the clearance.

Knowing that didn't make the urge go away. Every day she'd had to fight it, and as best she could, she'd buried herself in the work. She attempted to make herself busy enough to forget her loneliness and her fear that Shepard will be angry at her for abandoning the Specter in her captivity.

Nor was the political situation providing a balm for her anxiety. Shepard's surrender had been in vain. While there were exceptions such as Admiral Hackett, the Alliance had seemingly decided to ignore her warnings. Nor had the asari or salarians done much more; most of the galaxy lay utterly unready for what was coming.

There were bright spots. Garrus had made a little progress with the turians, and Wrex's work unifying the krogan was admirable. Despite that, Liara couldn't escape the feeling that they were grossly unprepared. Most ominous of all though was the silence coming from batarian space. None of her agents there had reported in for over a week and she dreaded the day that the reason for that became evident to everyone.

That fear had lent urgency to what might otherwise have been a pleasurable exploration of the archives. Rather than indulge her curiosity about the prothean economy or the effects of conquest on the art of their subject peoples, she and the other researchers had been searching tirelessly for something, anything, that could provide an edge when the Reapers came.

At least their search may not have been in vain. In the last few days, they had started to recover the plans for a device, an energy weapon on a scale she'd never seen before. Liara wasn't sure quite what it was or how it worked, but it was a start. Indeed, she really should stop fretting and start applying herself to the problem of extracting the remaining data.

Turning over various prothean data storage protocols in her mind, she did not immediate register that none of her colleagues had spoken in minutes. It was only when, in the distance, she heard a voice coming from the vid screen in the longue that she realized something was wrong.

"…not sure what it is that I'm looking at, but it's clearly on a scale unlike anything…"

Chilly fingers of fear gripped her and she dashed into the room to find her co-workers gathered around a news program that looked as if it was being broadcast straight from her nightmares. The report was from Earth, but the images seemed more like the memories of the prothean extinction she had seen in Ashara's mind over two years ago. Massive black shapes were descending out of the sky, and a whole city was on fire, chaos and death saturating every frame.

The other researchers were in shock, some sobbing, others holding each other or babbling incoherent prayers and protests against the unfolding horror. One of them, a pretty young technician named Lisa was vomiting in a corner. Liara understood the impulse. Her legs felt weak, her stomach tying itself into a knot. She had been dreading this day, but the reality was even more nauseating than she could have expected. The target only made it worse: this was Ashara's people's homeworld, and her lover was down there somewhere right in the middle of the attack.

And that was one of the many reasons she couldn't curl up into a ball and hide. Taking a deep breath, her voice found a calm she didn't feel inside and she tried to think about what Shepard would say if she was there. "Listen to me." Her words seemed to break the spell in the room. "I know that all of you are frightened. I'm frightened as well. But we cannot give in to that now. Right here, we may have the key to stopping this atrocity and if we do not extract that information before this facility is attacked, then we will be responsible for what happens next."

Thankfully, the researchers began to come back to life. Pulling themselves together as best they could, they hurried back to their duties. Most of them were going to the archives, but Liara had a different destination in mind. Racing to her quarters, she began preparing her communications equipment for transport. With the Reapers here, the galaxy would need the Shadow Broker more than ever. Ashara would need… If she was even alive. The scenes from Earth… No, she couldn't think about that right now. Shepard was capable of taking care of herself and Liara had to be ready to help her.

She had left her room searching for a hand-cart to help move her things when the alarm sounded. Her first thought was that the Reapers had arrived on Mars already, and she started making her way towards the archives looking for the intruders. As she turned a corner however, she was confronted instead by a more mundane enemy, nearly running smack into two armored Cerberus troopers storming through the hallways.

The lead soldier leveled his Harrier at her, but she raised her hand, trapping him in a stasis field before he could pull the trigger. His partner tried to maneuver around the frozen man, but that gave her time to duck back behind the corner and draw the Predator she had slipped into her pocket minutes earlier. The trooper was evidently surprised to find her combat capable because he ran smack into her gun and before he knew what hit him, she pumped two bullets into his head, his corpse crumpling to the ground at her feet. Before the stasis field could expire, she returned to it's prisoner, emptying the rest of her clip into him.

In the distance, she heard the sounds of more Cerberus forces coming her way, drawn by the sounds of gunfire, and she dashed in the opposite direction. She didn't know how many there were and she had to get an handle on the situation. What happened to base security? How could Cerberus have gotten inside the facility so quickly? She started making her way towards the elevator leading to the outside. Maybe there were answers there.

She was perhaps halfway to the lift when she saw the Centurion. The Cerberus officer had his back to her, talking on his comm, and before he could turn around, she nailed him with a stasis field. He went down harder than the earlier troopers, his shields meaning that she required the entire clip before she was sure he was dead.

Even as she was reloading, a bullet impacted perhaps two feet above her head, ricocheting off of a pipe. Turning, she had only just seen the two Cerberus soldiers entering the room before was she staggering backwards, the follow-up burst slamming hard into her barriers. They held, but only barely, and she ran, diving into a vent before they could get any more shots off.

The ventilation systems on the base were a maze, a narrow series of shafts twisting and turning confusingly; an excellent place to lose pursuit. She crawled through them rapidly, giving herself a chance to recover her biotic strength before she had to deal with her attackers. They had decided to follow her, climbing in after the asari, but in there they were at a disadvantage, their armor slowing them down. Bullets clanged off of walls as they tried compensating for their encumbrance with firepower, but she was too far ahead, the shots not coming close as she made her way to an exit.

When they finally caught up, she was waiting. A singularity flew from her hand, and the Cerberus troopers went straight from the vents into the air, floating helplessly, easy marks for her first shots. She let the singularity fade, and the two dropped to the ground, wounded but perhaps still alive. Calmly, she put two additional bullets into each of them, not willing to leave anything to chance. Despite the danger, she felt oddly calm. The entire galaxy was falling apart right then, and to be fighting instead of just waiting for doom to arrive gave her a small feeling of control.

And then she heard it. First, a sound of heavy footsteps, and even as Liara turned, a voice. Her voice. "Easy there, Lieutenant. She's with us."

She was telling a large marine to lower his rifle, but right then, neither the unknown soldier nor the familiar face of Ashley Williams held Liara's attention because standing between them was the woman she wanted to see more than anything else in the galaxy.

"Shepard! Thank the Goddess you're alive!"

"You too, Liara." Ashara's voice was gentle, but the relief in her voice was clear, a mirror of Liara's own. As the asari struggled to figure out how she should react, Shepard came up to her, clasping her hands. Even through their gloves, the gesture was comforting, physical pressure imparting a strength she badly needed under the circumstances.

"I was so worried when the reports came in. I'm… sorry about Earth." And she was a little bit sorry for how she felt as well, because as dark as things were right then, as perilous as life had become for all of them, she couldn't help but feel a little burst of happiness. However improbable it may have been, she believed that with Ashara by her side, they would make it.


	10. Doubt and Need

"Well, I suppose I did just write your name in the stars."

The holographic image of Ashara faded out of existence, leaving the two women in darkness. For a long moment neither of them spoke, but Liara's gloved hand covered Shepard's bare one, and even through that small bit of contact, the asari could feel the tension in the commander's body.

She was still considering how best to alleviate it when Ashara turned to her, her voice as shaky as Liara could remember hearing it sound. "I just hope we don't need your beacon."

"I know, love. You are doing all that anyone could expect of you to make sure of that."

"I'm not sure it's going to be enough. I've always thought there was nothing that couldn't be done if I only tried hard enough. But this war… I've never seen anything like it."

"None of us have, but Ashara, we would not even be alive now without you. You stopped Saren. You destroyed the Collectors. You will find a way." Liara leaned over and gently kissed the Specter, trying to convey reassurance and love with the touch of her lips. As their mouths brushed together, Liara felt Shepard's thoughts entwine with hers for a moment. It was a mark of their deepening relationship that the melds could start so automatically during moments of intense emotion and though controlling it was something she was working on, normally the closeness it brought was pleasant.

Not this time. Liara's mind was assaulted with images out of the darkest of dreams. Earth falling to the Reapers as the Alliance's ships were swatted aside like flies. Buildings filled with screaming people crumbling to the ground as Shepard ran towards the _Normandy_. Monsters without number overflowing the streets. Children burning beyond her ability to save them. As Liara reeled from the onslaught, Shepard recoiled, and the connection broke.

Her movement had turned on the automated lights in the cabin, and even as Liara blinked at the sudden brightness, she reached out to her lover. "Ashara? Are you all right?"

"How long, Liara?" Her voice was empty, filled with a vulnerability that Shepard didn't show to anyone else. "How long until that's all that's left of me? War and death." Ashara looked at her and the pain in her pale eyes was almost more than the asari's heart could bear

"I will not let that happen." Ashara was not the only one who feared this; the commander was too strong, too much of a hero to break or give up, but the price that the fighting was exacting on her soul was terrible and in that instant, Liara made a decision. She hadn't meant to stay for very long that night. There were reports to look over and messages to send, but right now, this was more important. "You are carrying the whole galaxy on your shoulders. Just for tonight, let me carry you."

"Liara… I don't want to be a burden on you."

"You are not. I want to do this." She gave the human her best coy smile as she pulled off her gloves. "Now sit back."

One by one, she undid the buttons of her white jacket, never breaking Ashara's gaze while she did so. As her skin began to become visible to her lover, Liara could see the first flickers of desire starting to play in her green eyes, but when Ashara started to undo her own uniform shirt, the asari stopped her. "Wait. Just enjoy this for now. I will get to you in a moment."

Ashara fell back into the sofa and Liara's hands returned to her clothes, pulling her dark blue tank-top over her head, leaving her soft breasts bare in the cool air of the cabin. Slowly and sensuously, she ran a finger over a hardening nipple, a faint purr escaping her lips as she did so, and she could hear a hitch in Ashara's breathing, the human's tongue peeking out to moisten her lips.

Smiling at having produced the effect she desired, Liara moved her hands downward, unbuttoning her pants and shimming out of them along with her boots and socks. Clad only in her plain white panties she took a step closer to Ashara, and knelt down in front of her. She felt a reverent hand running along the side of her crest and she looked up into the human's intent eyes, finding them filled with a desperate longing that wasn't quite like anything she'd ever seen there before.

Deftly, she undid one button after another, and when she peeled off the commander's shirt, she lavished kisses on Ashara's bare stomach. The muscles beneath the skin were tense under her touch, and she could hear a strain behind every breath her lover took. "Oh, love," she whispered, unhooking Shepard's black bra and tossing it onto the growing pile of clothes.

The commander had already done so much, given so much to the galaxy. It wasn't fair that it kept asking for more from her. Liara wanted more than almost anything to take away all of the pain and stress that Ashara was suffering. She deserved peace and joy, and for tonight at least, perhaps Liara could give her some.

As she cupped Ashara's firm breasts with her hands, a deep, needful sound emerged from the back of the Specter's throat, something between a purr and a growl. Liara lowered her head to a pink nipple, taking it in her mouth and pulling on it slightly. Ashara gasped and Liara felt the hand against her crest press firmer, Shepard's need evident in the way she was touching the asari.

Her hands unfastened Ashara's pants and removed them in one motion along with her black underwear. Liara lowered her head and started to run her tongue up her lover's thigh when the human gasped, "Wait. Liara. I… I want you too."

She looked up, licking her lips seductively. "You will have me. Just give it time."

Ashara spread her legs, allowing the asari access to the most sensitive parts of her and Liara wasted no time in sending her mouth there. Her hands rubbed the human's pale thighs while her nimble tongue began to dart over Ashara's folds. Her lover wasn't as wet yet as Liara normally found her in moments such as this; the stress, she supposed. It was all right though; she would take as long as she needed to.

Slowly, she made her way inward, tracing first over the outer lips before circling down towards Ashara's entrance. As she gently pleasured the human, she could hear her sigh with each stroke of her tongue, clearly enjoying what she was feeling but still hesitant, part of her mind elsewhere. Liara whispered insistently, "It is all right, love." Parting Shepard's folds, she placed a wet kiss on the head of her clitoris, feeling her shudder with desire. "Just let go for a little while. Let me take care of you."

At last some of the tension started to leave Shepard's body and Liara's tongue continued it's work, darting past the commander's opening, flicking in and out of her. She loved Ashara's taste: rich, and strong and uniquely her, and when the moans from above her began to grow louder, the asari felt her own clit throb against the material of her underwear.

She closed her lips around the engorged head of Ashara's bud, and as she did, the human cried out, voicing some of the built-up feeling inside her. Liara was relentless in her ministrations, sliding two fingers inside the commander's now-slick entrance, feeling Ashara push her body desperately into her thrusts, craving all of Liara that she could get.

The asari went hard and fast, suckling on the sensitive cluster of nerves in her mouth while her hand pressed into Shepard. Right now Ashara needed as much as Liara could give her, to lose herself in something other than pain.

The Specter's motions grew more fevered, her hands pulling Liara closer to her, her hips bucking frantically, and when she started to come, her scream of pleasure was loud enough that the asari was glad the cabin was the only room in that part of the ship. Ashara's inner walls throbbed around Liara's fingers and rather than stopping her thrusts, she kept up her pace, prolonging her lover's orgasm as much as she could. Finally, when the last ecstatic shudders had stopped, she withdraw her hand, sliding up alongside Ashara only to be drawn into a passionate kiss.

"Thank you, Liara. I guess I really did need that." Through the heaving breaths, there's a renewed strength in Ashara's voice that fills Liara with pride and more than a little arousal.

"It was my pleasure."

"Mm, I was thinking this would be." Ashara's hand snaked down between Liara's legs, and as the human rubbed her clit through the thin, damp fabric of her panties, a whimper of pleasure escaped the Shadow Broker's lips. The taste, the sound, the feel of Shepard had left her so wet, so turned on that every little motion of her lover's fingers, even through the material, was incredibly good.

Ashara pulled her close, and as she took a blue nipple into her mouth, Liara gasped sharply into her ear. The asari was almost embarrassed at how responsive she was. This was supposed to be for Ashara.

Her lover didn't seem to mind her desire though, yanking off her underwear and settling Liara on her strong thigh. As Shepard's mouth switched breasts, Liara began rocking her hips against the human's leg, trying to increase the friction against her, clear now that this was what Ashara wanted. The commander moved a hand between her legs, and as her skillful fingers found Liara's clit, the asari pressed against them, shocks of pleasure filling her senses. Ashara's wet tongue moved from her breasts, trailing up the side of her neck before gliding along the sensitive folds of her crest. Shepard's voice was husky with arousal as she whispered, "Meld with me. Please."

Liara needed no further invitation and her eyes went black with desire, latching onto Ashara's thoughts as she rode her hand. Inside, she could still feel the pain and doubt that had plagued the Specter earlier, but they were distant now, buried beneath a burning torrent of desire and love, her partner's need only partially sated by her earlier climax. She slid a hand between Ashara's parted legs to give her some further relief, but when she started to rub small circles across her clit, her lover's voice in her mind stopped her.

"Don't."

"I want to, love, for you."

"You did. Just leave your hand there and let me enjoy this through you."

Liara relaxed, giving herself over to the pleasure, sharing as much as possible through the meld. Ashara's fingers pressed deep inside her, curling and pushing against her inner walls while her palm maintained contact with Liara's clitoris. Ashara's other hand stroked her crest, and as her mouth sought out whatever skin it could find: lips, neck, shoulder blades, breasts, Liara felt herself approaching her limit. She wasn't sure if she should try to hold off, but Shepard's voice in her thoughts kept urging her forward with each thrust of her hand. "Yes, Liara," she sent, her fingers filling her, her thigh pushing her palm hard against her clit, "God, I love how you feel around me. So hot, so wet."

"Only for you, Ashara."

"Then come for me. I want to feel it."

"Goddess!" Hearing those words, Liara let go, throwing her head back as she tumbled into her climax. Her fingers pressed unconsciously against Shepard as she did, and the force of her pleasure along with her touch pulled the human with her, the wonderful mirroring of ecstasy filling both of their minds. Ashara held her close as they came, her need for every inch of the asari she loved filling Liara's thoughts as their bodies lay trembling against each other, the waves of their shared climax passing only slowly.

Their minds separated, but they remained entwined, curled up together on the couch. For a few blissful minutes, they stayed that way, just feeling their press of their bodies together, enjoying the peace they found in each other's love. Ashara's breathing was steady now, the pained edge gone from it, and it was only when the caress of her hand down Liara's back stopped that the asari realized she had drifted off to sleep.

Liara wanted to fall asleep like that with her, to spend the whole night there, but she knew that it wasn't possible. Careful not to disturb her lover, she slipped from her arms, easing Shepard gently onto the cushions. Taking a sheet from the commander's bed, she draped it over the human's resting form before going to put back on her hastily discarded clothes. With a final, gentle kiss to Ashara's cheek, she made her way to the door. She still had a long night of work ahead of her but this was worth it. She could always skip the next mission if she was too tired; her lover didn't have that luxury but at least, for this one night, perhaps Ashara would get her first peaceful sleep in Goddess knew how long.


	11. A Promise and a Question

Normally, Liara and Shepard didn't permit themselves the luxury of spending the night together. Even when they weren't hip-deep in Reaper forces, there was always more work to do, more preparations to make and more reports to file, leaving life's simpler pleasures to all too often fall by the wayside.

Tonight, however, was an exception. They had promised always for the first time that afternoon on the Presidium, and if that did not merit a night in each other's arms, then what were they fighting for? "Always," had also been in their joined minds as they made love, and lying in the commander's bed afterwards with Ashara's arms wrapped around her naked body, her face nuzzling against the back of her crest, Liara felt as at peace as she had in a long time.

That calm was disrupted by the serious tone in Shepard's voice when she broke the silence. "Liara, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, love. Anything."

"Why did you keep doubting that I wanted this?"

The asari felt her happy state of mind dissipating. "I.. I am not quite sure what to say."

"I don't mean when we were hunting for Saren. You had never been with anyone before and I understood that you weren't certain where we were going at first. I'm talking about… when we beat the Shadow Broker, and after Mars, you kept asking me if I still wanted to be with you." The human's arms pulled tighter around her. "On Hagalaz, I get it I guess. I'd been dead, and a lot of stuff had happened. But even today, before I said I wanted to spend my life with you, you were talking about being friends. Liara, I think we've been a lot more than friends for a long time."

A lump formed in the asari's throat. "Ashara… I know that. It is not that I did not want… I always loved you, desired you."

She felt a warm kiss on the back of her neck and Ashara laughed affectionately. "I kind of had some hints. I mean every time I said that I was interested, you were pretty quick to agree. But then why did you keep asking me? Couldn't you tell how I felt?"

Liara didn't know how to explain it, how to put her doubts into words, but she owed it to her lover to try. "It is just… you have always been under such terrible pressures, and I did not want to add to them. I wanted to be with you, but I did not think it was fair to make you feel as if I expected you…"

"Liara," Shepard interrupted her. "Being with you has never been a burden. Sometimes, especially these days, it's one of the few things that makes me really feel alive, like there's still good left in the galaxy." Her words soothed Liara's thoughts, but Shepard wasn't done. "Was that really the only reason though? I don't mean to ruin the moment, it's just… this confused me sometimes and I'd like to know."

"No. There is more…" A tear ran down the asari's cheek and she buried her face in the pillow, ashamed that her fears had distressed the woman she loved. "When I was growing up, I had few friends. My mother's fame intimidated many people, but more than that, I was not very socially adept. As I matured, I did not get much attention from the other maidens."

She felt silly saying the words, but she was reassured by a sympathetic caress of Shepard's hand across her stomach, and Liara continued. "Being with you, sometimes it did not feel entirely real. I kept expecting that I would lose you somehow. Mostly I worried about the battles you fought, but… you are Commander Shepard. There are countless people who desire to be with you. I feared for a long time that you might come to prefer someone else and I did not want to presume."

Gently, Ashara turned Liara over so that her pale green eyes were looking straight into the asari's blue ones. Her voice was affectionate, but also emphatic, making it clear that she meant every word that she spoke. "Liara, that will never happen. You are lovely, and brilliant, and sexy, and brave. I love you and there is no one else that I want. If I have ever done anything to make you doubt that, then I am very sorry, but I hope that you never will have cause to again."

Liara brushed the tears from her eyes. Goddess, she felt fortunate at that moment to have found such a wonderful partner. "You did nothing wrong, love. It was only my insecurities. Usually, I knew how you felt, but sometimes, especially when we were apart for a long period of time, I would start to worry that things had changed between us. When we would be together again, I needed the reassurance." She smiled. "After today though, I think that the depth of your feelings has finally sunken in." Liara paused, running her fingers through Ashara's dirty blonde hair, before adding, "My bondmate."

"My bondmate," Ashara repeated, joy evident in her voice, before kissing Liara tenderly on the lips. Liara had told the human earlier that day that in light of the pledge they had made, the term was appropriate.

"We do not need a ceremony," she had explained. "For an asari, it is enough that each of us knows that this is what the other wants." She truly had known then, and feeling Ashara's loving arms pull her close, she did believe that they had a future together, if only they could survive long enough to see it.


	12. A Parting and an Ending

"No matter what happens, you mean everything to me, Liara. You always will."

Ashara's voice quivered as she spoke, and her gloved hand reached out to cup Liara's cheek. In spite of the chaos of battle surrounding them and the hammering pain of her wounds, for just an instant nothing else mattered to the asari. That touch, and the love she saw in Ashara's green eyes had become Liara's entire world.

"Shepard, I…" She tried to find some way to convey the depths of her feelings for the commander, but their sheer magnitude overwhelmed her. As her bondmate started to pull away though, she found her voice, and over the roar of the engines and the crackles of gunfire, she mouthed the words, "I am yours."

Though she could see in her expression that Ashara had heard her, the Specter was already starting to turn away, looking down the bleak final path she would have to brave to reach the beam that led to the Citadel. Liara stretched out her arm, trying beyond reason to hold on to the person she loved more than any other, but Shepard turned and motioned her onto the ship.

"Go," she ordered, and Liara knew that she had no choice but to comply. She had been so determined to fight this last battle by Shepard's side, but in spite of her protestations, there was simply no way that her injuries would permit her to go on. As she watched her bondmate begin her final desperate dash towards the beam, Liara felt her knees start to give way beneath her. It was her resolve to be strong for Ashara that had kept her upright, and with her lover disappearing into the unknown, she felt herself approaching collapse.

Only her arm draped around Ashley's shoulder kept her on her feet, and together they staggered into the shuttle bay of the _Normandy_. As the doors closed with a metallic finality behind her, she turned weakly to the Lieutenant-Commander, trying to find some hope to hold onto. "She can do it, can't she, Ashley?"

Ashley let Liara down gently on the hard floor of the hold before slumping against a crate, her own movements strained from the wounds she had taken in the blast that nearly killed Liara. "If anyone can find a way, it's the skipper."

And that was the heart of it. There was no one more capable than Shepard, but what if, finally, more had been asked of her than anyone could do? No one had ever beaten the Reapers and millions of years of futility suggested that perhaps it was impossible. Liara had to believe otherwise, had to think that she would see Ashara again, but lying in pain on the cold metal floor, it was hard to keep such thoughts out.

All around her, the rest of the squad, extracted earlier, began flocking in, and she titled her head up to see Garrus offering her a taloned hand. "Come on, Liara. Let me get you to Doctor Chakwas."

She started to protest that she would be all right. Somehow, even if she couldn't be beside Ashara, it felt wrong to rest in bed while the commander was still out there fighting for all of them.

Garrus wasn't hearing it though. Reaching downed, he scooped her up in his long arms and began carrying her towards the lift. "You think I'm crazy? When Shepard gets back, if she finds I've left you looking like this, she'll kick my ass." It was a funny remark, but Liara couldn't laugh. Instead, she simply slumped against the turian, exhausted, and allowed herself to be taken to the medical bay.

* * *

"Let me have a look at you, Liara."

Several of the beds were already filled with those injured in the battle, but Doctor Chakwas wasted no time in rushing over to see to her asari patient.

"I am… It is not as bad as it appears."

"I should hope not, because it appears that you have some broken ribs, a slight fracturing of your left leg, and a number of cuts on your head."

The doctor's blunt appraisal quieted Liara's objections for a time, and she allowed medi-gel and bandages to be applied, but when Chakwas prepared a sedative, the Shadow Broker waved her off.

"I cannot sleep. I'm sorry but I have to… Whatever happens to Shepard, I have to know."

The doctor nodded, compassion clear in her green eyes. She had been perhaps the first friend aside from Ashara that Liara had made when she joined the crew and Chakwas knew as well as anyone else could what the couple meant to each other. "I understand. Let me know if there's anything else I can do."

There wasn't though. There was nothing anyone there could do but wait. All around Liara, she could hear the sounds of a ship in combat, of alarms, of men and women rushing to and fro. It was familiar from countless battles, but this time, there was something hollow in it.

Either Ashara and what remained of Hammer would make it to the Crucible and activate it or they would not. If they succeeded the war would be won, and if they failed, then this was the end. Virtually every resource the galaxy had left had been poured into that device and this attack. There would be no second chance. It was, as Ashley had put it to her a day before the battle on Earth began, "The last throw of the dice."

As Liara lay there, the minutes ticked by with agonizing slowness. When no word came to disturb the bustle of the med-bay, her thoughts began to darken. Had Ashara died and they simply did not know it yet? Was the war lost? If it was, there was no point in running, nothing to flee to but a grim existence, living without hope until they were hunted down in an extinction that would truly have become inevitable. No, it was here that her fate would be decided. Either Shepard would find a way to prevail and they would have a chance to begin the life that they had dreamed of, or their war would end, if not together, then at least in the same battle.

And then there was a buzz outside of the room, some message being relayed amongst the battle-weary crew and Ashley staggered in. She had been less badly injured than Liara and after a brief application of medi-gel, she had bullied her way back to active duty. Liara forced herself to a sitting position, pain flowing through her battered torso, and questioned the soldier. "Ashley, what's happened?"

The Specter's reply was chocking, every word conveying a depth of emotion Liara had rarely seen in the human. "Liara, it's the Citadel. The arms are open. They're saying that it was Shepard, that she made it up there."

Unbidden, tears began to flow down Liara's face, exhaustion and hope stripping away any inhibitions she might have had. Surely this was it. Somehow, after all that they had been through, there was going to be victory.

And then a minute passed. And another. Nothing had happened. The evidence of battle continued in the background with no sign that the Crucible had activated. This couldn't be happening. It would simply be too cruel to have come so far and have it all fall apart at the very last. Desperately, without anything else she could do, Liara prayed, silently begging a Goddess she had strong reason to doubt the existence of for aid.

"Please. Do not let it end this way. She has given so much of herself. So much blood, so much pain. Don't let her die in vain, don't..."

And then, over the intercom, she heard EDI's voice, as calm and precise as ever. "The Crucible has fired."

She had done it. Against all the odds, her bondmate had done the impossible one last time. Liara had never felt greater pride in her lover, or greater joy that such an amazing woman had given her love to her. She wished with all her heart that Shepard was right there so that she could tell her that and so much more, but instead, she simply lay back down on the bed, and turning her gaze upwards, she whispered two words, to the galaxy, to the Goddess, and most of all, to Ashara. "Thank you."

* * *

**And that's the end of The Other Side. I can't guarantee I'll never have another idea for a chapter somewhere in the middle, but for now, this is it for this story. However, if you're interested in reading more about what happens after the Crucible fired, you can try Ashara Shepard: The Fourth Life. Thanks for reading and please leave feedback letting me know what you thought of the story; it is greatly appreciated.**


End file.
